I have promised my Fu Mei Ling that to upload my English essay to here. Here is my 1st essay that entering the main stream English rather than English as Second Language. This essay is to do a recount on an event in a short story. It requires 500-700 words in length and informal language can be used. Text production: The Turning – By Tim Winton Assessment task - Recount Leung Yan Kit, Tom Tim was my best friend, I knew him for 6 years. We finished year 12 and the public exam together. He was willing to help me and we had no secret between us. We are both from dysfunctional families, which are one of the main reasons why we were so closed. He gave a lot of support to me from time to time, especially when we were studying in year 11. That year my academic results were very poor in Semester 1. If he was not appearing in my life, I would not have been promoted to year 12 that year successfully. A year later, my public exam results were released. It was unable me to continue the university study, but he could. I really did not enjoy studying much, but travelling and playing. Once I wanted to escape this town, he said nothing and without any consideration and we did it without telling others. Tim really could give up everything because of friendship. I could feel that I’m his best friend. February was very hot in Australia. No one can put up with it. But we still went on our trip. In this journey, I met this girl, Meg, it was like water appearing in a desert when I first saw her but actually she was not that beautiful in others’ eyes. She was long, shiny brown hair and big knees, dressed a purple tank top and shorts. She was a hot chick. When I first saw her, my heart started beating. She came and asked about how to get to Exmouth, I didn’t answer much although I knew how to get there. ‘I’m Biggie. What’s your name, girl? Why you wanna go Exmouth?’ I asked. ‘I’m Meg. I want to visit more places when I’m young,’ she replied. ‘Let’s go there together,’ I invited her and pointed to Tim, ‘he is our driver, Tim, my best friend.’ They greeted and we kept on talking. I felt Meg was the same type of person of me. That day morning, the weather was extremely hot that any second the glass would start burning. We opened the car window to feel the breeze which would cool us down. Yet the breeze was hot but we enjoyed it. ‘Meg, have you watched ‘gossip girls’?’ I asked. ‘Sure, it’s very engaging sitcoms. How come I could miss it?’ Meg replied. We kept on talking about ‘gossip girls’. I really enjoyed this time. Soon I realized that Tim was so quite. I kept on listening to the radio without chatting with us. I thought he must not have watched ‘gossip girls’ so he did have any respond. I changed to a sitcom that I watched with Tim. I knew Meg won’t miss any interesting sitcoms so we talked about ‘friends’. This time, Tim’s face turned to red from black. However, I knew although Tim and I were best friends, we had a lot of differences in interests and hobbies. I could not pander to him every time as Meg and I were really common in everything. Contradiction appeared. Somehow Tim had given up a relationship because he didn’t want to become distance between he and I. But when I thought deeply, Tim was a mature person, he could understand this. So I just ignored this feeling. We kept on this kind of relationship. Until I felt strong ill-feeling and suspicions between Tim and me, so I talked with Tim. Actually Tim could understand us but couldn’t put up with this feeling. We talked a whole night and finally iron curtain was broken. We were close friends again. From our conversation, I understood that friends should not totally focus on me should think more about others. The End Teacher comments:
You have the basis of a story, but you show minimal links to the text.
I can see your effort and your English is good in most places. Although some phrasing needs work. Marks: 12/20 I'm getting better in the 2nd essay and I think I will achieve higher marks in that. | 
